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Keep the Faith: A Memoir, by Faith Evans
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It's been over ten years since Big was killed. I grieved for him for a very long time. And then, as time passed, the icy wall of grief surrounding my heart began to thaw and I began to heal. I remarried, had more children, and continued to record and release more music. I continued to live my life. And while I can never discount the time I spent with Big, I've never felt the need to live in the past.
But sometimes, I still find myself thinking about Big being rushed the hospital, and I break down in tears.
It's not just because we hung up on each other during what would be our last telephone conversation. And it's not because I am raising our son, a young man who has never known his father.
It's partly all of those things. But mainly it's because he wasn't ready to go. His debut album was called Ready to Die. But in the end, he wasn't. Big never got a chance to tell his story. It's been left to others to tell it for him. In making the decision to tell my own story, it means that I've become one of those who can give insight to who Big really was. But I can only speak on what he meant to me.
Yet I also want people to understand that although he was a large part of my life, my story doesn't actually begin or end with Big's death. My journey has been complicated on many levels. And since I am always linked to Big, there are a lot of misconceptions about who I really am.
I hope that in reading my words, there is inspiration to be found. Perhaps you can duplicate my success or achieve where I have failed. Maybe you can skip over the mistakes I've made. Use my life as an example-of what to do and in some cases, what not to do.
It's not easy putting your life out there for the masses. But I've decided I'll tell my own story. For Big. For my children. And for myself.
- Sales Rank: #226120 in Books
- Published on: 2009-08-03
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x 1.00" w x 5.25" l, .75 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 368 pages
About the Author
Faith Evans is a musical icon in her own right, dropping hit records such as Faith (1995), Keep the Faith (1998), Faithfully (2001), and The First Lady (2005).
Born and raised in Newark, New Jersey, Faith Evans started her music career as a songwriter for artists like Hi-Five, Mary J. Blige, Pebbles, Al B. Sure, Usher, Tony Thompson, and Christopher Williams. Faith released four albums, all certified gold or platinum. She has also collaborated with many music industry legends, including Whitney Houston, Babyface, and Sting. In addition to a Grammy Award, Faith has received a Soul Train Music Award, two Lady of Soul Awards, and two MTV Video Music Awards. Faith also made an appearance in The Fighting Temptations, costarring Beyoncé Knowles and Oscar winner Cuba Gooding Jr.
Faith lives in California with her husband and four children.
Most helpful customer reviews
49 of 54 people found the following review helpful.
GOTTA HAVE FAITH
By Shanea
During the blazing mid-90s when R&B was still laser hot and Puffy Daddy was defining the voice of a generation, way before all the fabricated madness of reality TV shows, there was a voice constantly getting either lost in the shuffle or being completely misunderstood. I remember when Faith came on the scene. I remember all the drama surrounding her since the beginning of her public career. She was tagged as Biggie's wife in the One More Chance remix video and of course, everyone and their mama had something to say about that. Rumors about how she married him in 9 days and for money, etc etc. But I always saw something else: TALENT. Yeah, Mary J. is the Queen of Hip Hop Soul and rightly so. But the same way I feel Gladys Knight will always be in the shadow of Aretha's Queen of Soul, is how I feel about Faith Evans. When Faith dropped "Used to Love You" I remember people loving the song but also saying she "trying" to be like Mary. Which I always knew couldn't be further from the truth. I purchased the classic, underrated, and beautiful first album and knew that Faith has had something special. Something uniquely her own. As the media drama continued after the death of Tupac and then Biggie, I always wondered what Faith's story was. I always wanted to know how a church girl from New Jersey who ended writing songs in the beginning of her career for Usher and Mary J. ended up marrying Biggie Smalls, being the First Lady of Bad Boy, and survive the constant criticisms and fickleness of the industry to be an R&B legend in her own right. Well if you're wondering this too, this is definitely the book for you. Faith takes us on her journey and it's a strange, beautiful, sometimes cruel and painful voyage. I love Faith's honesty. She admits her flaws and her own endless mistakes. She never claims to be an innocent person or being above anyone. She just tells it like it is. The intimacy of the book makes you feel like you're talking on the phone with her, rather than reading it. You get lots of insight into the industry, especially the R&B scene in the 90's which I also found fascinating. I recommend this book to every fan of Faith, every lover of 90's hip hop, anyone searching for a story about a survivor whose beautiful song carries on through every note, laugh, cry, and page of this book.
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Courage & Questions
By Marie Antionette
Keep the Faith by Faith Evans, Bad Boy's First Lady and R&B Icon was an
entertaining read to say the least. As I read about her younger days
growing up in Newark, her different love affairs and the fact of her never
knowing her father, it was became clear that Faith's early years were no different then any other young woman growing up in an urban environment during that period of time. Faith states she knew she was going to be a
singing sensation as early as the age of 4 years old. As she continued to practice her love for signing, she began to branch out and sing with different gospel choirs, then she started doing impromptu auditions for industry legends like Teddy Riley, Al B Sure and of course the one and only Sean Combs (always suspect in my book.)Because this is her biography, one can't judge her intentions, only she knows what they were. Yet because of her passion, I find it hard to believe she had no expectations (as she states) from those she was performing "favors" for. I believe she knew and prayed that her presence among these influential individuals would eventually pay off and aide her in achieving her goal as a signed singer on a label.
Faith also admits she was a bit impulsive and acted too quickly at times,
when she should have sat back and thought things through thoroughly. After dealing with JT, (the STD) then the married guy, the producer and the abrupt move to LA with her daughter's father; one would have thought she would have taken things a bit slower once she met The Notorious BIG. Having dealt with similar situations, I can relate to how the desire to be Biggies ride or die chick was so appealing and how it was so easy for her to throw caution to the wind. What I didn't understand and what I have a hard time buying into, were some of the decisions she made while married to deceased Hip-Hop Icon Christopher Wallace, professionally and privately. I know a scorned woman is worst then hell's fury, (been there done that) but because I can relate so well to her emotions, I can't help but wonder if some of her actions were intentional; especially her dealings with the late ledged Tupac Shakur. That entire saga right there in my opinion should have been left untouched since neither Pac nor Big are here to deny or confirm any of what she has stated in her book. She could have touched on it lightly and but she went deep. It amazed me how in some situations she utilized such caution and in others that presented red flags in good enough time for her to fall back, she went into head first. She saw flags with Big, but she chose to stay because she was in love, but why deal with Pac' at all? Faith states she never saw it coming, (the drama between Pac and Big because Big spoke highly of Pac all the time. But at the same time, says she was worried about how things would play out and how people would perceive her? Here this man was accusing her husband of trying to take him out and she agrees to do a song with him without first talking it over with her husband? Faith already achieved stardom prior to releasing her memoir and I know she was well aware that any publicity is good publicity. But I'm not exactly sure if she realized by touching on certain subjects would raise more questions then provide answers?
Her feelings towards Pac may have been warranted, but at the same time they were harsh. I saw it coming early on when she stated something to the effect that Pac was paranoid that all of his enemies were in a conspiracy against him. To me that was either media talk or something she knew from dealing with him first hand. She is right, rumors have spread everywhere and this right here just may spark more. Others in the industry had screwed her over big time, played her out or caused her embarrassment and frustration. Puff did her dirty, Missy , her daughters father, and she even had something going on with Mary, but none of them got dissed as hard as Pac'. She said she felt sorry for Kim, because Kim settled for Biggies BS, but nobody settled for more of his BS then she did because she was his legal wife. However since drama makes for a great motivator, I believe both Big and Faith (as she has admitted on her behalf) used their drama to their advantage and created hit records as a result. That's not to say it was intentional, but when you got a batch of lemons, you may as well make lemonaide! It was also noble for her to say she holds no grudges against anyone who she had difficulties with during her rise to fame and her rocky marriage to Christopher, and after such a long period of time, I would hope that's the honest to god's truth.
Overall I give Faith a lot of credit for telling her version of her story.
Being a mother, I know how important it is to make sure your children know
the truth, especially considering her popularity and the scandals associated with her name. I commend her on her strength to keep going, even when doing so seemed futile. I can also relate to her burden of always worrying about what others thought of her, but at the same time I believe it was used as a crutch to sometimes justify her actions. I can only give her a three star rating in the end though because I became very frustrated throughout the read with a few of the contradictions and the constant repeats. I see she had assistance from an Aliya S. King who formerly worked for Billboard and The Source, but I don't know if she was much help to her if any. This is the longest and most detailed review I've ever posted and that's because I love Faith as an artist. I would recommend her book to anyone who likes bio's and is looking for an entertaining read.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
The Bomb! 4 real!
By acedd08
This is an amazing book! I couldn't put it down. Faith honestly tells her story and easily captures your attention. Even more importantly, her sense of responsibility is refreshing. Not blaming and finger pointing like some biographies. Life happens and she deals, point blank. Faith, I wish you much success with the sale of this book. Keep em' coming, us "ride or die" chicks need good literature too!
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